What is healing?
Healing for me was waking up each day feeling energized
Feeling grateful for the day ahead of me and not feeling an ounce of sadness
Why would I be sad?
I love my morning routines, listening to podcast, drinking my coffee or tea, and appreciating the amazing people I have in my life.
Overall starting the day on the right foot
As the days, weeks, and months go on, things happen, but that’s life
There’s a reason for everything and still a new day tomorrow
I’m already there on the other side and things in life have gotten better
That is until I spoke to Emily today about how I’ve been feeling lately
I felt like I was once again checking in for my daily cry session and talk through my emotions
I shared with her that I feel sad, stressed out, and overwhelmed about everything happening in life at the moment
The month and year are ending, and I don’t feel excited about it
I’m not even looking forward to the new year
All because I’m ending the current year in a place in my life that I didn’t think I would be in
I still wake up feeling sad and heartbroken over the loss of a relationship
I’m even hard on myself some days,
Thinking I need to move past it all, but I haven’t
I feel like I should move because he probably has, and try not to think about it anymore
But the thoughts still run through my mind every night
I’ve never been good at bottling up my feelings and putting them away somewhere
It all comes out eventually so I might as well face them now
I feel overwhelmed dealing with the car accident that happened on my way back home to Austin
I’m okay and so is my dog Buckley, who thankfully was in his crate when the car hit me
Overall it just feels like another blow and stressor added to my life
I’m feeling very overwhelmed and feeling alone at the same time
I’ve been putting a lot of time and attention into The Visual Aspect
Trying to keep up with posting and creating videos
Working on my blog has always brought me joy and happiness in my life
It keeps me and my mind very busy which is good
I’m a little stressed about the eBook
Stressed because I want it to be the best project I’ve done so far
My hope is that once the book is complete, it will help pull me out of the slump I’m in
However, I’m more excited to share it with you all and hope that it adds value to your life
What Emily told me is that calling your friends and crying about how you feel is a part of the healing
For some reason, I thought that healing meant that I was healed, and ready to go and on to the next thing
I kind of learned today that healing is embracing the set-backs you feel each day
Then you keep pushing forward the next day
I can’t beat myself for still loving a person that I spent over two years with
And feeling sad that he is no longer a part of my life
It’s okay to feel, for a moment in time, that life feels like it’s happening to me
Who knows maybe it’s a blessing in disguise and I get a newer car
I’m eagerly waiting and watching to see what all this means for me and my future
To be able to look back and see where God was moving in my life, and preparing me for what the next season will be.
